I’ve come to this weird place in my life where I have lost my tolerance for so much. In the past I have sacrificed my happiness and comfort for others. And that left me with burdens that were not mine to carry. I took on so many roles to fix others to make them feel whole only to screw myself over. I think that going through what I did and facing it alone gave me a perspective that honestly would’ve took me years to realize otherwise. I have carried so many burdens in private that I’m completely over it.
When I spoke my truth I was harassed and pushed aside. I was told I was a liar. I was made to feel like I was alone. And the truth is besides my immediate family I was alone. I had two friends left because I blocked everything and everyone out of my life. I honestly didn’t want to live. And even writing that is still scary to admit. But I was at my lowest point and to top it off I had an audience watching routing for me to fail. I know now that I kept very sick company. Hindsight is 20/20. I think if the bubble I lived in wasn’t popped in the demented way it was I wouldn’t be in the position I am now. I won’t have the mindset I do now.
I feel as though my tolerance for people and any type of disingenuousness is completely done. I have managed to completely turn my life around. My mentality and my acceptance of inadequacy is done. I honestly don’t care who’s feeling I hurt. I don’t care who is watching. I am living for myself. I am worrying about how I’m going to reach my next goal. Where I see myself in the future and how I can make that possible. If someone happens to be by my side cool but if not I could care less. I am no longer accepting any mediocre relationships in my life. And I wish the same for all of you.
Kayla Leanna 