I haven’t felt the need to blog in a while. I think it’s because at one point I had to restrict access to my social media and my blogs where included in that. But I’m back now and so are my post. I took the password off my post and even unprivated a few that nobody has ever seen before. I’ve reread a bunch of my post the other day while I was editing the publishing status and I realized how mush I’ve changed. I’ve mention a few changes along my blog post where I say I’m being more this or trying that and all those little changes added up.
I think I’m my first post the most alarming thing I mentioned was my lack of eating. If you consistently viewed my blogs I went into a theory about why I think I stopped eating but I’m still not sure it’s that really is the reason. But somehow I managed to kick that habit completely and I eat now. I eat very normally without any restrictions and it’s great. Unfortunately I still get extremely nauseous with certain foods or smells still so I might have that random day when my appetite and body are not seeing eye to eye but I’ve learnt it’s out of my control so just accepted it as a part of life. I did realize that I eat way less the warmer it gets. I think I get so distracted by all the activities I can do and just don’t focus on food as much. I realized that I’m not really in-tuned with my body where I realized I’m hungry like a normal person does. So I have to make a conscious effort to ensure that I eat even when I’m not hungry. I really don’t want to have to open up my stomach again. It really wasn’t a fun process. So yes even on sunny days I make sure to eat three times a day even if one meal is much smaller than the rest.
I’ve started drinking a lot more water recently and realized I was extremely dehydrated. I now go through about a case of water a week. I sleep much better now. I’m able to stay awake for more hours because now I go into a deep sleep right away. Before I would need about 10hours of sleep just to have energy throughout the day. It now I’m down to about 6hours. Of course there are days that I sleep for longer. But sleep is good so no complaints here.
Let’s see what else stuck out as a red flag when I was rereading my post…. I think it was food, boundaries and coping that were the big ones. So next up boundaries.
Much better at setting boundaries. I’ve always been good at setting boundaries but it was sticking to it that I had the issue with. But I’m good at sticking to boundaries as well. If I feel like something impedes on my boundaries or really sanity I make it known and if it continues I remove myself from that situation. I’ve realized life is much simpler now. So much less stressful.
I think I’ve gotten better at coping with trauma. I’m not really sure on that one because I’ve haven’t had any life experience to put that one to the test. But I can say that my anxiety has improved so much. I still get annoyed with certain sounds, textures and/or situations but I push through now. So no anxiety attacks in a really long time. I’m going to say over a year. So I’m going to say I’m much better at coping but I really can’t say for sure.
I think I’ve touched on all that I needed to address to ease anyone who has the time to read all my previous post. But yeah I’m going to get back into posting on here because I miss it. Unfortunately I still feel the need to be discreet with certain life altering details for security reasons but I’ll try to keep you guys in the loop. So hopefully you’ll here from me soon.
Side note: I normally don’t reread my post like ever so there may be grammatical errors or spelling errors.
Kayla Leanna 